This week, Megan, Joni and I discussed that bugaboo of blogland: Jealousy. In reality, we're more discussing Envy - which is the desire for something someone else has, rather than Jealousy, which is the fear of loss to another of what we do have. Either way, we've all likely had those nasty little thoughts creep in. We know it's not right or good for us, but it certainly is human. This conversation was based on a blog post on Blogher by Loralee Choate called Hey Jealousy: Every Blogger was a Newbie Once
Care to share your jealous moments?
Envy? Maybe sometimes when someone starts out all young and fresh and within 3 weeks has over 500 followers. That's more just amazement!
I'm interested to hear what others feel about this subject.
BTW, I've been trying to get access to the podcast with Jackie Von Tobel, but it leads me to another blog.
You may say this is self promotional, but you are truly inspirational. Thanks for touching the topics on blogging etiquette and copyrights, among others. More power to you!
The envy question: just as I enjoy each of your very different blogs on different days, for either the topic, my time, or my mood that has served me when I am reading all the different blogs as well.
And, I am guessing perhaps partly because I am so new and unaware, that envy hasn't crept in except maybe in the case of those you mentioned and it's more like awe!
If the Energizer Bunny was a person, it would be Lauren and have told her so! :) Her dedication to the blog and her home are amazing and I admire it! And I too have very recently discovered LGN and she is another energetic dynamo. Both these gals work hard and post often!
I am still finding my way with my own blog as well as trying to view many others, but already have some favorite reads. I am also in agreement, that it is ok not to feel an obligation to comment evey time, but just have consideration and "etiquette" in the back of your mind especially if you are NOT a big blogger! Just take a moment every now and then to be polite. All 3 of you have been so thoughtful and it has been noticed and greatly appreciated!
Oh, and Megan, I have not been able to get my head around the appeal of American Idol!
Off to write about you all on my anon blog.
The blog world is a strange one, it can bring out the best in people AND the worst. I've never gotten any major newspaper press & probably never will & that's OK. I'm just a lowly decorator, trying to make a difference in the lives of those who read my blog, so my focus is helping women do a better job with their homes & give them tools & ideas to achieve that. So, the press coverage may never come & I may never be the hot topic of design world on the internet & that's fine with me. I make my own little stamp in the blogworld. :)
I am not really into self-promotion, I would find it too exhausting - maybe it's an introvert/extrovert thing? Subsequently I am not really jealous of the blogs I read - I feel blessed by all the talent and cleverness out there - it's like enjoying your friends.
The only thing I don't like is when people self-edit so much that you get the impression their life is sooooo perfect that it possibly has its own movie soundtrack. That's why everyone loves Mr Slipper-socks - he's Joni's little slice of 'real' but in a light hearted humorous way.
Anyway keep it up gals - love to listen in!
But we're all in awe of talent. The thing about the blogs is that it's difficult to be dishonest, or deceitful over the long term. You'd get found out.
It's not fun to feel jealous but we know the felling every single day. It's part of the motivation to compete. Whatever the motivation, we admire folks who work hard developing and exploiting their talents. And the way to win at blogging is to give folks something they value.
I'm jealous of and grateful for the SRT. The online conversation is easy to find in politics and sports. Who but the SRT could apply it to design? It's a breath of fresh air where the old model is top down: Magazine articles that take months to produce. Fans almost camped by the mailbox waiting for a handful of pictures in their favorite magazine.
I was cracking up at the "you know, the girl who had a baby on her ottoman" comment. So embarrassing! :)
This was such an interesting discussion here about jealousy. I was talking with a blogger friend, who has a very popular blog, about this same issue a few weeks ago and she told me that every time she gets jealous when reading other design blogs, she says to herself "Others' successes do not diminish mine." She said it helps her to be able to just be happy for other blogger friends and not be so jealous.
Also, I have to admit that I felt a little guilty when I listened to the part about commenting and blogger etiquette. I am so, so bad at commenting. I think it's that I read all my (many, MANY) blogs through google reader and leaving a comment requires many more clicks and page loads than I have time for, sadly. Maybe I should contact Google and ask them to add a comment box to the reader feeds?
Anyway, thank you again for all the kind words. Great podcast.
I am an artist with interior design aspirations or leanings as always I've been told I could be a great interior designer. My art site IS promotional and I truly think that all professional sites are.
My envy has been when I see professionals like Joni put so much work and history into their posts. Megan you always make me think, laugh, and aspire to be better. Linda, you are the best and I love the way you can segue from a Schnabel Grammercy Park design to A most fabulous Degas painting.
I feel envious because I cannot seem to figure out how to work Google Analytic and get a correct count?!?
In Kansas City we have a favorite friend and blogger who is a famed writer for Spaces KC, is featured in many publications, and is mom to a brood of three raucous boys!! Talented beyond!! Envious yes!!Only because I wish to find that place in my field and to make people very joyous to acquire my art!
I ask for advice only because I do believe those who are able to; can pay it forward and make that difference as you all have!!
I just can't put into words how important SRT is for those studying to be designers. Listening to some of the conversations has been so eye opening. It's like, OMG the things they don't teach you in design school.
Anyway, I admire you all, I think you all rock, and I no matter what anyone says about you, there are people that appreciate what you're doing.
Linda, I think you should be a design professor!
Luckily, the prevailing emotion is good will and genuine happiness for the success of others. :)
P.S. Your blog name? Adorable.
Seriuously, I am never jealous, but find great humor and learn a lot from all the blogs out there!
It is like life there are all levels of what you want to achieve, blogging is no different.
I did enjoy the post, and the visual imagery from Linda (WOW)!
ENJOY THE DAY LADIES!
Thanks again for another interesting topic!
About the 'Green Beast' of jealousy/envy: I do believe that most bloggers are type A, ambitious souls who long to be heard, attain some form of recognition - having said that, I also believe we are a competitive bunch - friendly though - and that we will all feel the green beast in the room. I have worked on this in 2.5 years I've been blogging. I've gotten much better at accepting the part Liberty Post plays in this internet world. I remain hopeful and determined to grow my readership and friendships around the world. I love blogging so, mostly because I adore my fellow bloggers.
Smiles ~ Ramona
I remember the first time I got comments or emails from the 3 of you (at separate times of course)-- I was beyond thrilled so that should tell you who most of us out here are jealous of ;)
Anyway, great topic & it really touches home. I've been struggling with the guilt of not replying very much lately & feeling like I'm letting people down when I can't respond. I've been reading but not able to comment on most blogs b/c there's always a kid in hand... but I do feel terrible because I know how much hearing from readers does for me & wish I could reciprocate.
On another note, I took anons off my blog & I know it's totally a wimp move but I'll admit, I'm too sensitive to handle the neg remarks when they're coming from anons. (if someone puts their name to a comment, I'm sooo ok with anything neg bc it just seems to come from a better place... maybe a more constructive one.)
I too am in total awe of everything jenny from LGN does. She's just amazing.
ok, off to bed & thanks for talking about such a touchy subject.
I have to say I certainly never meant to step on anyone's toes by writing about movie houses! I apologize if I did. I think we all approach the topic differently, though. I'm a writer and researcher, not a designer. I'm just a nut about movie trivia. I leave the "Get this look at home" types of posts to you experts. :-)
I struggle with envy every day, wishing I could write like this blogger, get as many comments as that blogger, get the kind of recognition of another one. But it always comes down to being ourselves, doing what we do best, and being content with that, doesn't it? That's what I tell myself, anyway!
Another great discussion at the SRT!
In my head, I separate the design blog crowd into a Varsity and a JV. You ladies and others who have been blogging for many years are the Varsity. I'm not jealous of you at all. You are all inspirational.
I think there might be jealousy within the groups. It's hard to see a "peer" (someone who started at the same time as you, someone who has a similar style/set of projects) get comments from the "Varsity" bloggers or get companies contacting them with giveaway items. After doing some giveaways, I'm kind of glad I don't have to deal with all that, though. I have a job that is a lifestyle and a blog for that job that is more time consuming than my little decor blog. :)
By the way, an issue to discuss in the future might be the balance between original content and "inspirational" content. I think Joni strikes a nice balance between posts that show us pictures that have been published elsewhere and then posts that show things specific to her life or her work.
Great topic to take on. The conversation has become so easy for ya'll.
Makes me want to go back and comment on all of my commenters' blogs, as the first time I got one from Joni, I thought about it all day...can you imagine? I mean I know it's Joni, but I'm a freakin 44 year old woman acting 16! lol
Every blog is so different, that's why my blogroll has grown, but admittingly, I am just a lurker on some. I have to start commenting more.
Have a great weekend ladies! Another great cup of jo.
(http://wwwmydesigndreams.com) and have been SO inspired by so many blogs out there (shout-out to Lauren @purestylehome!) and every day when I sit down to troll blog-land the jealousy starts to build up. I read blogs that reference each other, link to each other and comment on each others blogs. It's like a club I so desperately want to be in! I am still waiting for the post where I get ONE comment from someone that is not a friend or part of my family! (Yes... I am in that stage...). And I so want a large readership, want my blog to be on other bloggers blog roll lists... my wish list could go on and on.
But the truth is I admire so many bloggers out there, their style, writing, their success...and sometimes that admiration turns green! The only thing I can do is keep up MY blog... keep getting my name out there however I can and hope that readers will come. We all do this blog-thing because it makes us feel good about ourselves, productive in our day and helps with our own design journeys and inspiration. Right?!
*part with shameless self-promotion*
check out my blog to learn more about me!
PS: I love this podcast and plan on adding the button to my blogs' sidebar!
I'm envious of women who seem to be able to do it all, and knit up a few hours of extra time for themselves. Lidy
As a man and as a blogger, the topics and dynamics discussed on the Skirted Round Table this week have nothing to do with gender. All people, regardless of genitalia, wrestle with self-doubt and the need to be liked. Just as all people confront it, all people have to deal with it in order to get on with their lives.
Chinoserie Chic, and Pigtown daily because they are the ones that consistently interest me the most - isn't this what most people do? It goes like this: after about six months of reading blogs you sort of hone in on ones that speak to you - and read those daily - just a thought - I wish I had the discipline and dedication to do a blog but for now I am grateful to those to do it and so well -
Suzanne on St. Simons
I am Lindsay from www.adesignstory.com. I am new the "world of blogging". I don't find myself envious of other posts or styles of blogging so much. I just compare myself to other people's numbers... followers, etc. I have to try to stop and smell the roses.. I AM NEW. I had had so many wonderful new blogging friends encourage me... and then met some that aren't too nice. The blogging world is competitive! I truly value my new blogging friends and am glad to be design buddies with them!
http://agiftwrappedlife.blogspot.com/2010/02/blog-birthdayno-mystery-to-me.html I found this discussion truly interesting but must admit was a bit surprised at how many are truly jealous. I think there is plenty of room out there for all of us, or at least I hope so, Kathysue
Blog envy is a very healthy emotion, I get it all the time. It ensures I don't fall into my comfort zone & go stagnant - long may that feeling reign.
I don't take this whole blogging thing too seriously, so it amazes me that so many delightful people are interested in what goes on behind The Hedge. Even the Man-of-the-House now his own loyal fan base by proxy, just because I 'let' him do a couple of guest posts when I was ill last year. What was I thinking!! Thanks again for the work you all put in to make SRT such a fabulous place to listen & learn, I adore the sense of community you have created.
Hope you are all well...
I'm not one of the cottage ladies, the pink and green ladies or the DIY ladies. I'm just a girl who loves design, loves style, loves parenthood and loves to write. I'm just happy I found a place where I could explore those things and a community of like-minded individuals. I love where I'm at and I'm having a great time! Thanks to the people before me who blazed the trail!
As for the people with bad blog etiquette (in terms of commenting), I do think time is a major factor. It stands to reason that people who put in a lot of time on their posts, presumably have less time to comment around and vice versa. There is only a finite amount of time in a day to blog. It's the people who intentionally comment on only select blogs - either out of self promotion or perhaps for fear of endorsing someone - that I think is poor form.
Let me put this out there: commenting and supporting people doesn't merely endorse a blog - it endorses this whole process. If there was nobody commenting, visiting, making connections, where would this community be?
Oh and a quick tip - use Bloglovin instead of google reader. You can move from post to post and comment within it (to Jenny's point above). It's free (and no, I don't work for Bloglovin:)
Wonderful. SRT fan for life...
Hugs, Cindy S.
We love TSR - keep'em coming.
We all get there by working together, not against each other.....
The top blogs are true to their styles. I like Joni's blog categories. (the mega blogs, the pink and green, the kind blogs, "Summer is a verb" calls me the bloggeratti illustrator. Seriously, I work hard to earn my comments and any title I can gleam!
All I can say is that blogging is one of the best things that happened to me.
After listening to this round table I feel like I've had a Blog tutorial/therapy session, so thank you. I know I'll be tuning into this one again and again for support on this new adventure.
It was sunny and warm today in my corner as I joined you and enjoyed listening to your thoughts.
Thanks for inviting me.
I guess I just have to remember that my blog is just a tool and maybe i need to spend less time on it and focus on other parts of my site.
have a great weekend.
If we're wrong, tell us how, specifically, you promote yourself, Megan.
Now, none of this is bad, in and of itself; but it may create some egotists, and may foster envy among less popular bloggers who wonder "Why not me? Why is it always that person? Why does she get all the attention?"
I'm just sayin'. I think there are at least a few *Star* bloggers who believe they are just a video away from being the next HGTV host, or Food Network guru. It's certainly how Martha would have done it if the internet had been around when she started.
A medium that has 'followers' is bound to have issues of popularity and cliquishness. It is the nature of the beast you've all created.
I, too, have sent in several pictures of projects I've worked on. Some went unanswered completely. With others, I received a "We'll consider it" response. But finally...FINALLY...I sent in a project that they liked. It's my all-time favorite project I've done to date, and they liked it too.
Sure enough, it was featured as a Before & After on Design Sponge. I was thrilled.
The problem? The link to my website had a typo in it. lol...I was so disappointed. The readers really loved my project, and yet, not one single person was able to make their way to my blog because of that stupid typo.
It was at that point that I realized that it just really doesn't matter. A little self-promotion is good, but when you start hanging all of your "blogging success" hopes on other successful bloggers, it can become destructive.
Wow - I'm jealous you've got 67 comments here!!! LOL! Seriously you touched upon a hot topic - a topic most bloggers prefer to keep in the closet and I loved your upfront open approach to the topic.
However, some of the more well known bloggers have shown immense compassion and have emailed me regarding a question I had. There are some bloggers who are jealous, because they desire something a little more than they can handle. My blog may be new, but I have been in blog land for years.
Its ok, because one wrong move and you can lose your followers.
I really would like to list the names of the bloggers who think they are above reproach...but its not worth it.
You ladies...are great.
Mr. Goodwill Hunting
How do I self promote? For one thing I have a blog and I'm part of the SRT. I also have a blogging event that I produce and put on, here in LA and in SF.
Although it has its roots in an altruistic motivation, I'm not so obtuse as to not see that it promotes my blog at the same time. In fact we discuss self promotion at these events and how it can help. If you're in California, please attend.
If you'd like to discuss self promotion one on one, I encourage you to email me personally.
I am equally inspired by several of the ladies you mentioned, including Lauren from PSH, Jenny from LGN, and Layla from TLC who I had the immense pleasure of meeting in Nashville last month as well as the lovely Julia from HOH. These ladies deserve all the accolades they receive for their impeccable style, hard work, and ability to balance it all.
This was a very interesting discussion, and I thank you for hosting. Keep up the good work ladies !
When I find myself getting envious of another blogger I remind myself that I'm in this for the fun of it, not to win a popularity contest. I find that I enjoy blogging so much more when I'm not comparing myself to other bloggers. I think we can drive ourselves crazy if we do that!
Thanks again....great discussion!